It took a long while to get here, but since the record is finally here you can also read my blurbs about my process and thoughts on each song!
Digital Death
Digital Death is, in my opinion, the most important song on the record. Not my absolute favorite, but the most important, because with this one I wanted to show my growth as a producer and songwriter, so this more progressive trap/shoegaze blend was created. It started out as a simple cut, having only the first half, and I thought about leaving it there, but it felt too “by the numbers” for a project that was supposed to be an evolution on every front. After messing with drum settings for hours and hours, I finally got something that wowed me once I unmuted the stacks of guitars, chorals, and synths. All that was left was to continue the narrative set in motion by the previous record whilst also revealing some personal content I will not be discussing openly for a while, if at all.
Guillotine ft. mYnus_greY
Guillotine is interesting in the way that it was originally a scrap from A Divine Suicide that I never finished because I had no clue what to do with it. I'd had the first third recorded but the mixes were subpar at best and it just ended out of nowhere. So, I decided to just go crazy with it and see what happens. That's how the noisy bit in the middle came about. From there, I hit another roadblock. What did I decide to do? Not work on it or think about it for months and months of course. But, after rediscovering it on my computer after releasing ADS, I knew it was something special and I had to finish it. I recorded everything and wrote a new verse over this industrial-dance beat I made for the third leg and contacted mynus_grey, who I'd collabed with previously on Entropy. He thought the track was incredible and agreed to join for the ride.
Masquerade ft. amitai sno
Masquerade originally had a completely different instrumental that had more of an indie/Post-Punk flare, like many tracks off the last record did, but I decided to remake the beat after having already recorded my parts since it didn't fit in with the rest of the project. I ended up with something equally abstract and industrially harsh, so I thought there would be no better feature than amitai sno, whose work I'd been a fan of for a while and whose artistic progression I got to see firsthand. I also thought it'd be fitting to have him on this project due to his Red Earth record being an influence on the vocal production for this one and inspiring me to double up my vocals, which I'd experimented with here and there but never committed to. This track serves kind of as a celebration of this new sound, while also acting as a setup for the next cut.
Blightlord
Blightlord is likely the most intense song I will ever make. It ended up being so intense that I decided to have it be the last track on the more aggressive side of the project, instead of trying to follow it up with something of equal or greater volume. The screams were absolutely guttural and I loved that shift instrumentally when the first verse came in. Structurally, I wanted to do something akin to Black Quarterback by Death Grips, but figured the dramatic tempo shifts would be a drag in my style, so the only shift ended up being in the outro and second verse, where the intentions lyrically get spelled out as clear as they can. The harshest song on the project after gradually building up in volume and intensity. Then, we get my favorite part of the entire record: The hard cut into bliss.
In the End
In the End is more of a DJ mix than it is a formal song. This is a remix of some random vocals I recorded one night while trying to come up with ideas for ADS and found later. While making this I added the verse vocals as the improvised hook wouldn't have been enough to fill out what ended up as this airy dance cut. There isn't a lot to say about the making of this one as it was pretty much just production.
A Day in the Life
A Day in the Life is the most straightforward pop tune I've written, all the way down to its bridge-into-the-chorus quiet revision of the hook. I wanted to make something commercial with this one while having it still fit sonically with everything else here, like with Fragile and Don't Care Anymore from previous projects. This, I think, was the most successful as even my partner who doesn't love the kind of music I make enjoys this one. For a long time the song’s second verse was left barren as it was originally going to have a feature from fellow Jusgor member Just Joe, but he eventually dropped out and I had to fill in the gaps. I do like how it turned out, but it's still interesting to think how it would have sounded with a feature on the second verse instead of myself.
You Don't Deserve Me
You Don't Deserve Me was originally going to have a feature but the artist dropped out quickly due to personal reasons not long after the track was conceptualized. This track details relationship issues I've dealt with and bottled up for years since trying to talk about them with the person involved only made things worse. Lyrically I get kind of nasty and vicious, but it's a true expression of what I felt at the time of writing, even if things have changed since. I want my music to be raw depictions of the emotional states I'm in, and this one probably hits the nail on the head and results in kind of an uncomfortable read. Sonically, I think this goes hard though.
By the Brook
By the Brook goes even more visceral and confrontational, but not towards the same person in the previous track. This one is directed toward a past friend of mine who wanted something more serious but abandoned me all together when I lashed out at the woman who abused me for most of my life. I feel like my anger here is completely justified and them stalking me on social media every month or two made me decide to write this and put it out as a single. This track is a message: FUCK YOU. In the context of the album, it acts as the character becoming free of their burdens and moving on, just as I have from them. This one is my favorite song I've ever written and I honestly don't know if I'll top it.